Announcement: Reed M. N. Weep Retirement



Many readers were no doubt disappointed upon seeing that the Reed M.N. Weep column did not appear in the last issue of the Bulletin. Weep has given the editors permission to officially announce that, following some “really really mean student course evaluations,” he recently retired from academia in order to pursue a career as a professional mime. Future columns can be found on YouTube (look for username “CMNWeep”) and will consist exclusively of hip thrusts, wild gyrations, and related moves of the sort banned by the little town in Footloose. Internet trolls and YouTube commenters suggest he is not actually a very good mime, but—like matters within the field of religious studies—these are subjective judgments, matters of faith not reason.

Weep reported that his university threw him a surprisingly joyous retirement party, which was well-attended by graduate students from other disciplines who heard that there would be free food. Also in attendance were his dean and provost, who were overheard mumbling something about “getting the sand out of the Vaseline.” Weep’s department chair gave a memorable toast, praising Weep’s service to the department and the field, and thanking Weep for his “discretion,” whatever that means.

In any case, the editors will miss Weep, as we’ll now have a more difficult time doing what Weep did best—fulfilling our word count for each issue. We wish him well in his latest endeavor, and find ourselves in agreement with the YouTube commenter who put it well: “yo dawg them some dam fine moovs.”